A Holly Jolly Deal: A Best Friends to Lovers Holiday Romance (A Forever Safe Christmas Book 12) by Ember Flint

Author:Ember Flint [Flint, Ember]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-12-11T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

HOPE

My eyes are glued to the window as they follow the flurries of snow falling more and more rapidly in white bursts in stark contrast with the inky black starless sky.

It’s well past two a.m., but I feel like I downed ten coffees and a case of Red Bull, my body is buzzing with excitement and my brain is running a mile a minute as I try to make sense of my confusing feelings and thoughts.

What the hell is wrong with me?

This can’t be happening.

I’m ice-cold all my life and the first time I do feel something is for a guy that leaves across the country and only thinks of me as a friend and not even a close one at that. Not anymore anyway.

Maybe the lies are catching up with me.

Maybe he’s just a very good actor, but damn: he gives me one of his smoldering look and my heart goes pitter patter, he strokes my cheek with his long, tapered fingers and my legs turn to Jell-O, he calls me ‘baby’ for our mothers’ benefit and I feel like I would give anything for him to really mean it.

And let’s not even talk about those sizzling kisses of his and the way he pulls me up against his big, muscular body.

Why do I want this?

Why now?

Why him?

I mean, the man is beyond attractive and ticks all the ‘musts’ in my ‘oh damn, that’s hot list’: the bulk of his frame, the incredible shade of blue of his eyes, those lips of his, that sexy cropped beard on his squared jaw, his manly-man attitude and that voice, so deep, gritty and yet comforting.

And then that’s that damn cologne of his, what the fuck did they put in that thing anyway? Pheromones?

But am I this easy then?

I’ve always known him to be handsome, yet I had never thought of him this way before.

Is it because I starved myself for attention and human contact for so long that now even a lie can make me feel all fuzzy inside and so incredibly turned on?

Or there is more?

Am I missing something here?

Why do I want this… him, so much now?

Is it because I never even dared to look past the ‘friend-label’ I put on him?

Why does he make me feel like this?

Even now, hours after the end of ‘our show’ I still feel like a live wire is going through me.

And what does this mean for us?

Does he feel the same?

I might be a virgin, but I’m not completely naive, I’m freaking twenty-eight: I’ve felt his arousal when we kiss, the way his breathing hitches and his voice goes even more husky and low.

But what do I know about men?

For all I know, this could be a normal response for them when they are pressed up against anything of the female persuasion if they’re not gay, no matter if they’re attracted or not?

Isn’t this why they joke that even a strong wind could get their dicks hard?

For some reason, I don’t

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